Swedenborg writes that there were times in the life of Jesus of Nazareth when he felt very near to his Creator—times when he was able to impart great wisdom to those who sought to learn from him—times when he was able to help his students grow closer to knowing the harmony of Divine Providence. There were also times when he felt very much removed from God—times when his work would be stressful, even overwhelming. Swedenborg shares that these alternating patterns of closeness and distance were not unique to the Lord, but are the same patterns we all experience in the course of our faith development, albeit on a less cosmic scale. We most certainly get stressed out every once in awhile and feel as though we've been completely forsaken by God's compassion. I don't think that's a surprise to anyone. But there are also times when we are very much in tune with heaven and are capable of great insight. Enlightenment a glorious state of being, filled with new understanding and a deeper appreciation of the patterns of our lives, but there's also a downside. With every instance of enlightenment comes a decision. We can choose to ignore the opportunity to change and do things the way we've always done them, or we can make the changes and experience the personal rewards that will inevitably follow.
Being human, we love the idea of personal growth, but we’re not always so enthusiastic about the work of personal growth. Like the rich man in our Gospel reading, we realize that growth may involve sacrifice, and suddenly we’re not so sure about it. All too often, our decision is to avoid the hardships, real or imagined, that making this change in our life would present. When given a choice between, for example, smoking or yelling at other drivers or any other “bad habits” we may have embraced, many of us decide to keep things the way they are. The status quo seems less stressful. The same moment of decision occurs when the choice is between examining our lives to find the roots of our pain, which might involve opening ourselves up to another human being, or on the other hand letting those personal issues remain unexamined and unresolved. We can choose to remain blissfully ignorant, choosing to retain our dignity and just get used to being angry and hurt all the time. When the rich man in the gospel was given a choice between loving his wealth and following the path of enlightenment, which Jesus told him would mean giving up his possessions, the man went away grieving. The decision was too difficult for him. We like our lives to be comfortable and relatively free from conflict, and when giving a choice between rising to the challenge or avoiding the discomfort of change, it seems to be human nature to choose the way of least resistance.
But that is not God's will for us. Changing our ways can be difficult; in fact, it may be the most difficult thing we have ever done, because changing our ways can mean that we will have to give up something we have always believed we cannot cope without. As Jesus taught his disciples, the path of enlightenment often requires that we let go of that which has made our lives so comfortable and secure.
Many years ago, I was a student chaplain in a Boston hospital. I remember hesitating outside of a patient's room because I didn't want to hear their pain. It was too uncomfortable to see the suffering and know that I couldn’t make it all better. I had to let go of something within me in order to be effective as a caregiver. My supervisor had used the example of a hot-air balloon. Once the air inside the balloon has been heated, once the balloon has risen from the ground, it is prepared to fly. Still, it cannot fly until the tethers have been released. It has to let go of the ground and permit itself, so to speak, to be at the mercy of the winds. Eagles, too, cannot soar until they have let go of the safety of the trees. Human beings cannot grow until they let go of their fear of feeling insecure, uncertain. We cannot love freely until we let go of our fear of being hurt. We cannot learn until we let go of our fear of being exposed as someone who does not know the answers. Being creatures saddled with egos, we need to let go of our pride which prevents us from seeking the help we need, let go of the need to control our own path, let go of whatever is preventing us from hearing and following the gentle guidance of the Divine.
When we do let go, we might indeed feel pain and loss and withdraw—all of the uncomfortable things we have been trying to avoid and maybe some things we hadn't quite anticipated. But while we are in the throes of change, wishing we could just escape the whole ordeal and "vanish into the darkness", as Job said in our earlier reading, remember that it is not God's will for us that we suffer; it is God's will for us that we grow and learn. It may feel like God has forsaken us completely, leaving us vulnerable to all the cruelty and injustice of the world, but that's simply not the case. God, who is love and wisdom itself, is not capable of abandoning us, ever.
In the movie A League of Their Own, when one of the players wanted to quit the team because playing baseball became emotionally "too hard", her coach answered, "Of course it's hard! If it were easy, everybody would be doing it!" Of course living God's way isn't easy all of the time, but the rewards of accepting the challenge and seizing the opportunities are worth it. We’re talking about healing and fulfillment and resolution and nourishment and spiritual maturity, in the long run well worth the temporary discomfort of change. In time, we realize that the discomfort we feel are really the same bumps and bruises that a chick suffers when breaking out of the shell into a new life. New life can’t happen until we escape the shell of our old life.
So don’t let the possibility of discomfort dissuade you from growth and healing. When you are at that crossroads, deciding whether to accept or ignore the opportunity God has presented you, remember that nobody needs to suffer alone. God supports every effort to grow out past the status quo and into new life; the more you work at it, the more freedom you feel. Also remember that you are sharing this planet with billions of people who are faced with the same challenge to grow as you are. I like to think that this is one of the primary benefits of being part of a community, especially a community in which each person has decided to admit their fears of change together, and have consequently decided to support each other through the challenges that accompany change.
We cannot take someone’s struggles away from them, nor would we wish to, for their sake. The more someone practices growth, and the more we practice the necessary skill of letting go of our fears, the stronger we become. I like to think that, eventually, the rich man in the Gospel was able to do this very thing. As Swedenborgians, we realize that this story isn’t about worldly riches. It’s about whatever makes our status quo life too comfortable to abandon. Swedenborg wrote that “riches” in the Word correspond to all the things we think of as personal strengths, all the advantages that we believe originate with us, that we think of as our possessions, and thinking that these are the things that will drive our spiritual growth. “For mortals,” said Jesus, “salvation is impossible.” All growth and change comes from God, which becomes ours when we choose it. We might think that change is too hard, sometimes, “but not for God; for God all things are possible.” Amen.
READINGS
Old Testament reading: Job 23:1-9; 16-17
[Job in his suffering said:] "Today also my complaint is bitter; God's hand is heavy despite my groaning. Oh, that I knew where I might find him, that I might come even to his dwelling! I would lay my case before him, and fill my mouth with arguments. I would learn what he would answer me, and understand what he would say to me,. Would he contend with me in the greatness of his power? No; but he would give heed to me. There an upright person could reason with him, and I should be acquitted forever by my judge... God has made my heart faint; the Almighty has terrified me; if only I could vanish in darkness, and thick darkness would cover my face!”
New Testament reading: Mark 10:17-31
As Jesus was setting out on a journey, a man ran up and knelt before him, and asked him, "Good Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?" Jesus said to him, "Why do you call me good? No one is good but God alone. You know the Commandments: you shall not murder; you shall not commit adultery; you shall not steal; you shall not bear false witness; you shall not defraud; honor your father and mother."
The man said to him, "Teacher I have kept all these since my youth." Jesus, looking at him, loved him and said, "You lack one thing; go, sell what you own, and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; then come, follow me." When he heard this, he was shocked and went away grieving, for he had many possessions.
Then Jesus looked around and said to his disciples, "How hard it will be for those who have wealth to enter the kingdom of God!" And the disciples were perplexed at these words. But Jesus said to them again, "Children, how hard it is to enter the kingdom of God! It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God." They were greatly astounded and said to one another, "Then who can be saved?" Jesus looked at them and said, "For mortals it is impossible, but not for God; for God all things are possible."
Reading from Swedenborg: Arcana Coelestia (Secrets of Heaven) #2694.2
It is unknown at this day that those who are being reformed are reduced into ignorance of truth, or desolation, even to grief and despair, and that they then for the first time have comfort and help from the Lord...Those who can be reformed are brought into this state, if not in the life of the body, nevertheless in the other life, where this state is well-known, and is called vastation or desolation. Those who are in vast station or desolation are reduced even to despair; and when we are in this state we then receive comfort and help from the Lord, and are at length taken away into heaven, where we are instructed among the angels as it were, anew in the goods and truths of faith. The reason of this vastation and desolation is chiefly that the preconceptions which we have conceived from ourselves maybe broken; and we they may also receive the perception of good and truth, which we cannot receive until the preconceptions from ourselves have been as it were softened.